Heavy Metal

Tuesday, May 4, 2004

WHAT’S ON MY BRAIN

"Shit, Piss, cunt, Fuck, cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits!"

Yes, George Carlin's seven dirty words you can't say on television. Of course that was a long time ago--before Cable, Direct TV, Tivo--and you name it. Why am I talking about this--really haven't much of a clue--I really just feel like swearing allot this time out. I think this one, is going to be a classic "What's on!"--to never remember. Let's see if I can use them all in a sentence!

"Shit, I'm going to Spain with Simon tomorrow…a 12 plus hour flight--and now that I've decided to start drinking just for this trip, I'll have to piss allot…holy cunt--(yes, I too really don't care for this word, unless it is somebody, male or female, driving like one in traffic in front of me)--I'm going to Spain with Simon and we're going right from the airport to the closest topless beach, and fuck, we'll see if we make it to the signings on Friday and Saturday--cocksucker is what I'm going to fly to England and tattoo on Simons head if he doesn't show up, which he has done to me before, motherfucker is what I'm going to say constantly as I quit smoking a month ago, and I know Simon is still smoking, and I'll want to smoke while I'm there, and tits--because we'll both want to be on the topless beaches staring at them, even those I'll tell you all now as a married man I love my wife's the most, but will still look ALLOT--and tits again because this is what we should all get to see after reading the worlds largest run-on sentence ever!"

Here's some more unwanted information--that is if you were on another site, here on "What's on my Brain" all you get is me--so suck it up. I quit drinking again--about five weeks ago, which is great because I lost 10 pounds, and not that the drinking is an issue--much--as I quit so I could stop smoking--when I drink I want to smoke--duh--so I stopped both--but the test will be hanging on the coast of Spain with Simon and not doing either--if it sounds like I gave up already, you're right--and I will have photos of the adventure to share with you all once I return. They're going to be bad for sure--bad in a good way of course.

Okay--as I do most weeks, here's some cool fucking photos. You will be asking why, or not why and thanking me shortly. Both will be required. I was at a car show in Limerock, CT. a few years back, and shot this great photo of Mariah's ASS. You know who I'm talking about, and agree it was well worth the pause.

My ass--I hate it--Julie took it, she likes it, I don't think I have one, retarded, but a good way to show how much more I like Mariahs ASS and the odvious reasons why.

This shot I love, picture three--I sent it to my friend Pam recently, and said the way it is shown, if you look at it quick, with one eye closed, and half drunk--it looks like I'm hanging from the ceiling. She took it the wrong way, and thought I was flipping her off for some reason, and has never spoken to me since.

Yes, my wife bought me a "Halloween" costume as a potato once--because I love her I wore it, and felt like a complete cunt the entire night, and grinned like a motherfucker the whole time, which perfectly leads into a "tits" comment--meaning if I had tits in this next photo--I might have stayed home this night and had a blast with myself.

Simon with his finger in my nose, me trying to get my finger in his--but failing--but I do know we still had fun--and I do know there were lots of "Fucks!" "Cunts" "Cocksuckers!" "Motherfuckers!" talked about, as well as a great many "Assholes!'

The last image--me as an "APE"--probably sums up the best night of sincere laugh out loud fun I've had since jerking off to---ummmm--let's just say--"I love Titis!"

Okay, fuckers, I love you all--I know that even if you had any "Say" in what I might "Say"--you wouldn't really "Say" much, as why would you want to direct what I say to you, as much as I'd want to direct what you say to me--won't ever happen.

One thing I want to say before I jump on the plane for Spain and don't get back to you for two weeks--I am sorry I haven't gotten to the forums as much as I used to--I do miss you guys, just a little swamped.

Really now, thanks for hanging out here--you could hang anywhere--and I'm pretty glad to call you all mine.

MOTHERFUCKER---I always try to pick a item to offer to you guys at a super special discount on/in each of these notes--and I think it is only fair to ask what you want a cut rate on next time you buy…. Jump on the message board and let me know.

Hugs to all, Kevin